You’ve probably heard the adults in your life talk about the election a lot lately. But that doesn’t mean they are enjoying it. A recent study found that 81 percent of Americans would rather not talk about politics at all. But experts say it’s important for us to have these discussions. Talking to people—even those who disagree with us—helps us learn from each other and keep an open mind. 

If you want to start a conversation about the election, don’t just tell others what you think or who they should vote for. Instead, ask them a question, like: “Hey Mom, who do you think the president should be? Why do you feel that way?” This shows that you’re actually interested in what they have to say—even if they feel differently than you do. 

According to a recent study, 81 percent of Americans would rather avoid discussing politics altogether. (Maybe that’s because 55 percent of those people say they have been part of a political argument that included name-calling, verbal attacks, or other insults.) 

But experts say we shouldn’t avoid political discussions. “The only way we can overcome our divides is by speaking across them,” says Jonathan Zimmerman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania who studies the importance of talking about tough issues. Conversing with people who have different opinions helps us be more accepting and open-minded.

Talking about the election can be tricky, and it’s always better to have tricky conversations face-to-face. People are less likely to be mean when the person they’re talking to is right in front of them. They’re also less likely to take something the wrong way when they can see a person’s face and hear his or her voice. 

Difficult conversations—including political discussions—are best held face-to-face. Why? People are less likely to be insulting or mean when the person they’re talking to is right in front of them. (Plus, a recent study from the University of California found that people are more likely to think a viewpoint is stupid if they read it rather than hear someone say it.) 

By talking to Mike in person, Carrie can let him feel heard while also explaining her point of view. Hopefully, by the end of the conversation, they’ll both feel understood.

It’s hard to change someone’s mind when it comes to his or her political beliefs. So it’s best not to try! Instead, focus on listening to the other person’s point of view. You might be surprised at what you learn.

Most of the time, it’s difficult to change someone’s mind about his or her political beliefs. But when you go into a conversation ready to listen to the other person’s point of view, you might be surprised at what you learn.

Changing the subject can actually be a good way to get out of an uncomfortable conversation. Just make sure you do it kindly. Let’s say your friend is going on and on about the election, but you don’t feel like talking about it. Try bringing up something light. Say, “Sorry to cut in. I just realized I forgot to ask—do you want to sleep over on Friday?” This should help you shift the conversation in a different direction.

Do you have to point it out? No. But is it the right thing to do? Yes. The truth is, some older adults aren’t as tech-savvy as you are—so you might be doing your great-aunt a service by teaching her what you know about vetting information online. Just don’t do it in a way that embarrasses her. Message her privately and say, “Hey, Aunt Linda, I couldn’t help but notice that the article you shared looks a little fishy. Here’s how I make sure a source is legit . . .”

If she thanks you and takes it down? Great. But if she doesn’t seem to care, disagrees with you in a confrontational way, or continues to post fake news, it’s not your responsibility to fight her on it. Say “OK, thanks for listening,” and move on with your day. 

Yes! Having friends with different opinions and beliefs is a good thing. If you’re friends only with people who are exactly like you, you’ll miss out on learning new things. But if a friend is making you feel uncomfortable, that’s different. You never have to talk about politics with others if you don’t want to. It’s OK to ask them if you can talk about something else.

There are two ways to have great friendships with people who have different beliefs than you do. You could talk about your differences and learn from each other. Or you could stay away from the things you disagree on and just enjoy the things you have in common. Either way, one thing is true: It is possible (and healthy!) to have friends with different views.

Experts say that a kind, well-meaning interruption can quickly and easily shift attention off an uncomfortable topic and onto something you both want to talk about. So if your friend is repeating what her parents said about the election for what seems like the hundredth time, try bringing up something light, like a piece of celebrity gossip or plans for the weekend: “Sorry to cut in, but I just realized I forgot to ask you—do you want to sleep over on Friday?” This should help shift the conversation in a different direction.